Satire

DaveCrate is the ultimate in identity-oriented voluntary self-marketing that you pay for. It is a $19,99/month subscription service which offers everything that we decided "geeks" and "nerds" want. Each box contains at least $60 in what we've arbitrarily categorized as "value", much of which is sentimental. Thus, by subscribing to this service, it's like you're being paid to consume incidental trinkets you would have otherwise had no interest in!

Non-commercial videogame developer Mane6 has reported that their current development project, "My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic", has been cancelled due to a cease & desist letter from Hasbro, the owner of the "My Little Pony" franchise. This is pretty much the end of the line for the project, as Hasbro shows no interest in allowing the fan project to continue in any form.

All copies of the Nintendo 3DS game "Fire Emblem: Awakening" have been rendered useless after SEGA of America filed a DMCA takedown request to Nintendo. The takedown request, claiming ownership over nonexistent videogame Shining Force 4 and "any videogame, media, or human utterance even remotely similar to it", was filed yesterday, causing all copies of the game to be replaced with a notice that "Fire Emblem: Awakening is currently unavailable due to a takedown request by SEGA of America, Inc.".

In a UN Bioterror Security Assessment Alliance report, Umbrella Corporation RLLEC, has been found responsible for the outbreak of the "H-Virus", or Holiday Virus. The official 210-page report details "staggeringly obvious" evidence and official terrorism charges against the already scandal-laden corporation. The evidence, collected by senior UN BSAA agent Chris Redfield over the span of several months, details the long and treacherous development period of what many Umbrella employees openly referred to as "Yueltide Flu".